an afternoon run

i’m here just repeating your address over and over in my head 

as i fuel my lungs with stabbing pain gasping instead of feeling the sting of slitting my wrist

you consume my thoughts

your being, our life

730 days 

every single one spent with you 

the pulsing in my cheeks brings me back to the slamming of my feet on the cement

the salty drops drip down my cheeks, contouring my face like your lips used to do to kiss away my tears. 

tears you usually caused. 

the discomfort of the heat bind my clothes and body as one. 

the sharp pain in my lungs feels like one i deserve. 

despite the discomfort and pain, there’s no outrunning your brown front door 

lit in the washington sun 

the one where i am supposed to be with you right now.